The Emotions

The first week of camp is over. It flew by but was really very successful. Camp produces a whole lot of emotions for me. I was discussing with a friend yesterday about how I need camp in a way. I felt not prepared to go and be a role model for kids when I, myself, are not feeling connected with God. Yes, the background of a bible school looks like I know lots and has the apperance that I am totally involved with God but, looks and knowledge can be decieving. After Bible School ended, I wanted a break. Not a wise move on my part. I wanted to not read my bible or pray for a while because I felt overwhelmed by it all. This didn't feel like a good start for a state of mind at the beginning of camp. But by the end of the week of camp, I honestly think that I might have changed more than some of the campers. God was everpresent this past week and I could feel it and see it. I felt extremely challenged in some ways and had to lean on only God through it. He, of course, came through and showed His power. It was an awesome realization for me. I feel more connected to God than I was before camp. I just need everyone to keep me accountable and to encourage me in my walk with God. I need encouragement to continue on with trusting God and not just living life for myself. I also want to thank you all for being steady in my life. Lots of you have been there through the thick and thin. I want to thank you for loving me. It means a lot.

A good friend of mine has left Canada today and won't be back for 8 months. It hasn't become completely real to me yet. We have not been as close as we used to be this past year and for that I do regret. Things have changed in our lives but I love her oh so much. She and I will always have many memories and it can be scary just to know she is not in visiting distance. I am really really excited for her though on the other hand. She gets this once in a life time experience that many of us may not go through. She can go and be who ever she wants to be. What an amazing chance. So if she is reading this, I am praying for you and love you and already miss you. Have the time of your life and live life! We will be waiting for you when your return. It will be exciting to see your smiling face once again.

The emotions have been flooding me with processing this change in relationship with God and me and also with a dear friend leaving. I know that both of the situations are good, but its just hard to take at once. If you could, do me a favor and pray for me sometime, that I would be strong with my faith in God. I feel that I may need it in the time to come. Emotions emotions... Girls have so many.